Stefanie C. Nicholas
JANUARY 2026 CALENDAR
I was diagnosed in April 2022 at the age of 47. I had my first mammogram during the summer of 2021. At that time, I was advised to schedule a re-scan to get a better image. However, it did not seem that this was an urgent suggestion, so I did not immediately do so.
In January 2022, I found a new general practitioner who told me to reschedule the exam as soon as possible. When I went for the mammogram, the technician took several scans, which seemed more thorough. I was then told the radiologist wanted more images including an ultrasound. The radiologist met with me and said something about calcifications and not liking the edges and I needed to get a biopsy, which I did. The doctor said plenty of women have calcifications and it may not turn out to be a concern. I waited three days and then opened MyChart. It stated I had malignant carcinoma.
After my initial shock and breakdown, I called my aunt. She gave me the best advice – she told me to tell people, not to hide what was going on. She said people who love and care about me would want to know and that depending on the diagnosis, it would help me navigate interactions and relationships with them.
I begged my oncologist to allow me to go to my college reunion before the surgery on June 8,
2022. I had a lumpectomy on my right side. The doctor said he removed about an inch of tissue. My oncologist said it would barely be noticeable given the size of my breasts. (I can notice the difference). They did not find any pathology in my lymph nodes and there is only a small scar under my armpit. About a month after surgery, I began radiation treatment. Someone should tell you beforehand that it essentially works like a microwave – a slow burn. The first two weeks were tolerable. However, the last two were excruciating. I contemplated not returning for the last two days of treatment, as I had to return for them after the weekend. I ended up having to use burn pads on the underside of my breast after the treatment was done. Since that time, I have been taking tamoxifen daily, which I am supposed to continue for 10 years.
I am so thankful for my oncologist. He was hilarious, which helped, and he discouraged me from participating in a clinical trial. As he explained it, trial or not, the tumor had to be removed and waiting to see what it would do after six months was not going to change that fact.
My general practitioner sent me to her surgeon friend who was able to explain the results to prepare me for my appointments with the oncologist and surgeon. I have amazing friends. I received the diagnosis on a Wednesday. That Friday my college roommates had come to town for an alumni event. I was a weepy mess the entire weekend and they held me and comforted me. One of my roommates and one of my line sisters went with me to that initial appointment with my general practitioner's surgeon-friend. For the remainder of my many appointments, my college
roommate would come to New Haven from New Jersey to be my scribe and medical translator. I honestly was too mentally checked out to handle my new reality. My aunt came from New Jersey to stay with me before the surgery and help clean my house. My brother came from New York to take me to the hospital for the surgery (though he left me in the car to almost sweat to death when he stopped at Walgreens to get my post-op meds). He then drove up every day for a week to take care of me until I was better able to care for myself.
My college roommate's name is Nicole Peaks. Since we arrived on campus in 1993, she had been one of my dearest friends. A little more than a year after I received my diagnosis, she received her own. Her journey was different from mine. When we realized that the path was not going to be as smooth, Sunday morning rides to New Jersey became part of my regular routine. I would stop in Stamford to pick up little cakes to bring to her. We would talk and laugh for a bit, and then I would drive back home. In those final precious visits, we got to sit out on her porch like young-old friends and talk about things other than sickness. Sadly, my friend passed away soon thereafter. Those were special times, and I will truly miss her.